Wednesday, May 4, 2011


What is it?
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.

I want to take a moment to talk about something that's important to me. It's also something that has been on my mind a lot lately. 

The best explanation I ever got for integrity was my sophomore year of high school. Perhaps over-simplified, it is doing what you say you are going to do. Or another I like? It's what you do when you think nobody is watching.

I strive to maintain my integrity. No doubt, I fail a lot. But it's NOT for lack of effort. And if I'm aware of the fact that I violated that integrity that I cling to, I'll be the first to admit it. Your reputation is something that is tightly woven with your integrity. To the extent that you actually have control over your reputation, you should protect it to the best of your ability.

Of course, things aren't always black and white. But for the most part, protecting my integrity includes the following:
  • Doing the right thing simply because it's the right thing to do.
  • Doing unto others as you have them do unto you.
  • Following the rules. 
  • Paying your debts. 
  • Keeping the marriage vows I made on October 20, 2007.
  • Not violating the marriage vows of another by encouraging (in any way) an affair.
Let me leave you with a story. It involves someone I know but I've changed names.

A friend of mine, Kerry, lost something of monetary value. The item she lost had her name on it. Another person, whom she does not know, found it. We'll call this person, Lucy. Lucy looked up Kerry's contact information via the Internet. Awesome, right? Technology is good for some things. 

Lucy called Kerry and informed her that she found her things and wanted to know if she wanted them back. Of course, Kerry wanted her stuff back. It was valuable. The person then proceeded to suggest that many times when they find things like this the person offers a reward. Lucy even suggested a price for the reward. It was $50. 

Now, Kerry was planning on rewarding the person for finding the stuff anyway. However, Lucy asking for this money walks a find line of extortion. 

I ask Lucy...what if someone did that to you? 

Please, people. I'm begging you. Treat each other the way you want to be treated. Everybody likes to talk about bullies. Where are our kids learning this behavior? It's from us. 

It's the way we 'talk to people' when they cut us off in traffic (guilty). It's the way we treat the service industry workers when they don't have the ability to read our minds and ask a 'stupid' question. It's the way the Hobby Lobby worker asks Chloe 'Where are your socks?!?' without so much as acknowledging my presence. Yes, my friends. I believe that passive aggressive behavior (guilty) is bully behavior, too.

Be nice to people. Do what you say you're going to do. Help people out when you see they need it...if they don't ask, offer. The only way this world is going to get any better is if we/you make it better.

If you get really mad: Kill them with Kindness!


  1. Bravo!!! All you need is your "theme song" playing. "I'm looking at the man in the mirror" WOO!

  2. Kim I am so proud of you. I hope your advice will touch many hearts. You have always been fair to others and set good goals to follow. You are a wonderful granddaughter.I wish I could hear you sing your "theme song" again.

  3. Great Post. I will say that since I had Julianna- I find myself not caring about stupid stuff any longer and things that don't have anything to do with me. I also find that I am nicer and maybe a bit more compassionate to other moms with kids. (Before I would be annoyed at the screaming kid in the store but now I have compassion for the mom)...

    As for your friend "Kerri" - She should call the police. That is a crime to ask for money for returning something that is hers to begin with - i think extortion?? Your friend hopefully will not allow that person to 'extort' her for returning something that should just be the right thing to do. Good luck to your friend.

  4. @Skye- I hear ya. In a lot of ways, I do care less now. After all, we're so busy with our little ones, we have no time to solve the world's problems right? haha. I try not to stress about the small stuff/things I can't control. But I also find myself worrying about the world my daughter is going to inherit. I want it to be better than it is now. I'm sure in a lot of ways it will be but I worry about our humanity. As a side, my friend did end up paying the person for their belongings. :( I think she was worried because the person knew where she lived.


Thanks for reading!