Mini-Vaca

C and I spent a few days in Houston visiting Shorty and Pop. Once I get to my computer I have some good rodeo photos to share, but for now enjoy some beach pictures. We are so ready for summer and to meet our newest addition.

Mourning a True Matriarch

I don't write about my in-laws often and it's not because they aren't involved in our lives. We live in the same town as them and see them often. There are multiple reasons for my silence, but mostly I'm not sure how they would feel about having their images and likeness shared somewhere people can so easily access it.

I discussed this post with my husband and he's okay with me writing it. Despite my best efforts and the fact that I've been writing it in my head over and over, I probably won't be able to convey my feelings adequately. I'm not going to presume to know what my husband or the other members of his family are feeling. So this post is more of an effort for me to therapeutically write out my feelings and preserve them so that someday when my daughters ask about their Grandma, I'll be able to share with them. Let's face it. The human mind is so unreliable. Even with the best effort, we sometimes lose memories that we try so desperately to keep.

Suzy in high school

My mother-in-law, Suzy, lost her battle with brain cancer on February 4 after a nearly 5 year stand-off with the disease (obituary). She endured more physically and emotionally in those short 5 years than many of us will in a lifetime and I wouldn't wish the pain on anyone. In that time, she remained upbeat and I never once heard her complain about the hand she had been dealt nor be bitter about her circumstances. I only mention this because I feel like that's the way many people would react and nobody could blame them. I'm in complete awe over her attitude.

Of course when I was a little girl, I imaged what my married life would be like. Those thoughts came complete with anxiety over my relationship with my in-laws...I do mean anxiety. I was dreading having a mother-in-law. Early on while Mark and I were dating, I had a pretty strong suspicion that he was the man I was going to marry. When I met his mom, my fears of a future mother-in-law were erased. Never once in the entire time we dated nor during our marriage did she make me feel like anything less than a friend and daughter. She allowed me to accompany her and Mark on a road trip from California to Texas one of the first times I was around her. She opened her home to me and my dog while I was looking for an apartment after college. She was a lot of fun to be around and she brought the party with her. Always.



My mom, me, Mark, Suzy
Texas Tech graduation May 2006

One of my favorite moments was when she was going in for brain surgery shortly after they discovered her tumor in 2008. We were all waiting with her in pre-op before she was wheeled to surgery. Her children and husband were giving her hugs and wishing her the best for the long, nerve-wrecking operation. I was hanging out in the back of the room behind Mark trying not to get in the way of this vital family moment. (Mark and I had only been married for a little over 6 months so I was still learning the ropes.) Suzy asked, "where's Kim?" To which I promptly responded with the hug, kiss and 'I love you' that I was too shy to volunteer. I love that moment and at the same time I hate that it signifies the beginning of what was a terrible journey for us all.

Unfortunately, Suzy was sick most of our marriage. In the eight years that I've known Mark, Suzy was sick for five of them. Most of the other years we were living in a college town 6 hours away. It really prevented me from getting to know her the way I would have liked. But, make no mistake...I love and am going to miss my mother-in-law.



Chloe and Suzy
My favorite photo of the two of them.

I miss her for my husband, myself and my children. I'm angry. I'm angry for my husband, for myself, my children and the rest of our family. We were all cheated out of so much of her life. At the same time, I rejoice that she is no longer in pain. I'm thankful that she was able to see her youngest son come home from Afghanistan, I'm thankful that she was able to meet her first grandchild (Chloe) and that she was here to learn that she would be having a second granddaughter. I'm thankful that she was able to fight for nearly five years when the best doctors thought she wouldn't have more than 18 months with us. But guess what! It's really hard to be thankful when you are hurt and angry. I know this is normal. I know 'this too shall pass.' So for now, my little family clings to each other to rejoice in the good, mourn for our loss and find our new 'normal.'

The Birthday Weekend (Part 2)

We cooked out on Saturday night and tried to get some rest for Sunday's festivities. Sunday was our beach day. We drove to Galveston because Mark has never seen Chloe play on the beach. Normally the beaches aren't as dirty as they were Memorial Day Weekend. For some reason, the beach was covered in seaweed. It was everywhere including the surf.

Shorty is cleaning the beach...

Pop and Chloe

wading through the seaweed

Pop building a castle.

Shorty tackled Pop and we all got a good laugh!

We had a long drive back to Austin on Sunday and were sad to leave Shorty and Pop.But, Monday we woke up and visited Don-Don and Glammy.

Talking to Aunt Ellen on the phone.

Don-Don helping Chloe unwrap presents.

It was a bubble leaf blower!

Singing Happy Birthday

Making a wish

Meltdown of the century.

We had to leave Glammy's house because Chloe had the worst fit I have ever seen. Not sure but it could have something to do with the fact that she didn't take a nap three days in a row. Still, it was a fun time! Chloe had a grand second birthday!

The Birthday Weekend (Part 1)

We decided against a birthday party this year. We did this for a few reasons. One was that Chloe won't remember this birthday and we wanted to spend the party money making memories on something we could all enjoy. A party is a lot of work for moms and dads.

Instead we went to visit Shorty and Pop in League City for the weekend and enjoyed a birthday lunch with Don-Don and Glammy in Austin on Monday.

Friday we went to the Aquarium restaurant. It's a good thing we chose that place. It gave Chloe entertainment. She was so tired from our trip she didn't even touch her dinner and she was pretty crabby. If we had been anywhere else, it would have been meltdown central. She did really well considering.

Walking to the Aquarium

She didn't even drink her CHOCOLATE milk!

my brother and my husband are strange.

Chloe and the boys

she had to keep moving so she wouldn't fall asleep.

uncle Josh teaching her how to walk a wall.

On Saturday, we woke up, opened presents, ate cupcakes and went to the Houston Zoo. Chloe took a cat nap on dad's shoulder as we were leaving the zoo, but refused to take a real nap later. She was worn out.

getting good at opening presents

blowing out the candles

not a fan of the merry-go-round on this day

she had to pet every. single. goat. at the petting zoo.

Chloe said, "Dora so big!"

Meerkats are always a favorite of this girl.

Pop, Shorty, Chloe and Mark

already asleep and we haven't left the zoo.

To be Continued...

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We had a pretty good Christmas. I love this time of year and spending time with family. This one seemed to pass too quickly. I have plenty of pictures from Christmas in HTX with my family. I didn't get many from Christmas with Mark's family due to some unforeseen circumstances.

She ate all of Santa's cookies.

Her 'cheese' face.

Being goofy before Christmas dinner.

The Granthamaniacs

(some of the) Grandkids and Great-grandkids.

Christmas at Shorty and Pop's

Mark, Me, Shorty, Chloe, Pop and Uncle Josh (left to right)

Chloe is excited about this present.

Chloe likes the backpack from great-'ant' Devonn

Santa found Chloe at Shorty and Pop's

 Chloe had potty training pants and silverware in her stocking. We will start potty training next week. She also got crayons, a coloring book, a puzzle and an outfit. Her big present was the Little People Zoo.

The big present from Santa

Great-Grandma making Chloe go zoom-zoom.

Playing in tent from Claire.

She stole my sock monkey hat.

Playing guitar with Pop.

Reading Great-Grandma a story.

Mark and I acting like fools.

Ice cream with Pop.

Our annual goofy Christmas pic...
'Waking up for Santa'

We don't really all share a bed...Mark snores too loud. haha.